In college--like for real a while ago, I'm older than old balls now (I'm 30!!)--I wanted to start a blog that talked about the hard and weird and awkward. If you are out engaging with the world, then you probably encounter diversity every day. And it's often hard and weird and awkward to navigate that diversity. I think diversity is good for us, because it should make us examine our beliefs and opinions and either make us stronger in our convictions or make us open our minds up a bit to other possibilities.

With the trend some people are subscribing to of sharing every political or propaganda post they see and posting every time they fart, I've tried to keep myself as far away from Facebook as possible. However, every once in a while I get sucked in. I very firmly believe that if someone is saying bigoted things and you keep quiet, you are just as bad as the person being an asshole. That often makes for uncomfortable confrontations.

For me, it's far easier to get upset over something that is hurtfully directed at people I care about rather than myself. My only "marginalized" status is that of a woman. While I will fight every chance I get for a woman's rights, I've never had to choose. I have been put in uncomfortable situations work-wise and had to fight a man off after saying no, but ultimately, I've lived a life fairly free of bullying.

A "friend" on Facebook has started a crusade on the trans/gender fluid/gender dysphoric community. As I said, I don't get on Facebook often, and this person posts every time she farts, so her posts are frequent, but I saw the first comments a few months ago and didn't say anything. The second time I didn't say anything. The third time, I had to engage. I turned to modern science and the things I've learned from trainings I've taken for work with my LGBTQ+ students. She turned to the Bible and Bible YouTube videos. I do not think Facebook is the place to have these kinds of conversations, but I live 10 hours away so a conversation over coffee wasn't an option. Literally nothing got accomplished by my actions other than me unfriending her. Sometimes, you can know your stuff, have the research and the science to back you, and yet, you will never win the argument with a person  who's only source of knowledge comes from one source.

And the worst part is, she could say the same about me. She told me "science changes like the wind" and that the only thing that has lasted is the word of God. As much as I can't wrap my head around it, that's her reality. What's even more annoying about the whole interaction, was that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I felt uncomfortable confronting her. I felt so incredibly sad that there are people who feel differently than I do on this topic. I was a thousand percent sure I was the "right" person in the debate. I wanted other people to back me up in my comments and "like" what I was saying. I wanted to "win" the argument. Yet I really knew there was no "winning" because neither of us would change our minds.

So, how do we deal with these kinds of interactions? The kind part of me says that we agree to disagree and continue living our lives avoiding all conversation of such a subject. The idealist part of me says that we keep having the conversations and in the best kind of world, the person I was talking to would try to go out and have conversations with people of the LGBTQ+ community and broaden her world view and I would go with her to her church to broaden mine. In a Trumpian world, we turn things into "us" and "them" and divide ourselves clearly and distinctly from "those people" and "the other." I want to believe that having conversations with people who think differently from me is healthy for me. I want to believe it makes me grow, learn, and fortify my own beliefs or consider others.

As much as I thought I could offer great mounds of advice about navigating uncomfortable situations when I started this blog, I don't think I have an answer on this one. I do think if you believe strongly about something, you should always speak up. I also think it's OK to limit your contact with people who continuously make you feel uncomfortable or attacked or bullied. The world is full of different points of view--that's what makes it interesting, it's also why they say "two heads are better than one."  Don't be afraid to be one of those heads that are thinking and speaking and changing.