I had a great debate with one of my clients a few weeks ago about The American Dream. (Sorry, I know that link goes to Wikipedia, which is not a truly credible source, but that's about as perfect an explanation as you can get.) My client is a white, Catholic, heterosexual male who, while he whole-heartedly backs liberal politics, believes that The American Dream is alive and well and anyone can pull him or herself up by his or her bootstraps and reach their dreams.
     I'm not a pessimist. I'm a huge proponent of hard work and big goals. I wouldn't even consider myself a realist--I tend to live more in the world of dreams and idealism. However, I'm not blind and I am not naive. My client admires President Obama more than any other person in this country because Obama, like my client, worked his butt off to rise to the top. Both came from low income families, put themselves through school and one is now President and the other a self made millionaire. Both perfect examples of The American Dream--if you work hard enough, you can reach the top. I'd like to believe with every part of my being that he's right--we all have the same opportunities no matter our socioeconomic class, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation. But I can't buy into that. Yes, we all have the ability to dream the same dreams and have the same goals, but the schools in neighborhoods where tax payers are giving $5,000/household to taxes are getting far better services than schools in neighborhoods where homeowners are giving $1,500/household to taxes. Couple that with homes in which wealthy parents are home to help their kids with homework at night or hire tutors versus homes where parents are working multiple jobs to put food on the table, we're creating an even further gap between students and their educational opportunities.
     That's where we figured the biggest determinate of The America Dream lay: education. I'm going to go out on a limb and say we've all been told something to the effect of "if you can dream it, you can do it" at some point or another in our lives. I believe this. But just because I believe it doesn't mean it's not going to be far, far easier for one person than another to achieve a dream. Some people think something and it, seemly, magically comes true. Others work a million hours at something and they never reach their goal. Some people sit and dream and never act and never achieve. We're all different and on different paths. When I was small I used to sit and wonder why it was that I was born to my parents, why I grew up in Nebraska and not anywhere else in the world, and why, quite simply, I was born me and not anyone else. Identity. It's a strange thing.
     I stood there and argued with my client in the middle of the gym, both of us red in the face defending our positions--me saying those kids in my low-income, predominately African American neighborhood do not have the same opportunity that the kids in his, predominately white, upper middle class neighborhood do, him saying they do. Without even touching on the racism and/or sexism that can potentially separate individuals, we just talked access to education. We could at least agree on education being the golden key to realization of The American Dream. I was incredibly frustrated and annoyed and upset with myself that I couldn't articulate all the things I wanted to say. Plus my client is someone I love and admire and I didn't want to be arguing with him.
    When I went to bed that night and thought about our conversation, I tried to turn more inward. I did well in school. I enjoyed school. My parents saved well for my education, and I was incredibly lucky to use my writing to get scholarships. I have a masters degree that I worked hard for. I have a house, a dog, a car, and money to travel--that's The American Dream sans a family. I've done it, right? I'm never going to have a million dollars. I'm never going to be rich. But I'm very fortunate to live comfortably and maintain a standard of living that I enjoy. I'm not at all a money person or a career driven person and all of a sudden I've found myself in a situation that some people will chase their entire lives and never realize. How the hell did I get here? What made me so lucky to be born into this life?
    I know I can't feel guilty that I was born to parents who helped me with my schoolwork and pushed me to do well academically and saved for my college education. I know I worked hard for what I have even if I had help. But can I do something to help others reach their dreams? Abso-freaking-lutely. That's why I want to be a writer. That's why I'm a trainer--I want to help people realize their goals. This post is turning slightly narcissistic, and I apologize, but it's election time and we're forced to look at the American way of life with each political debate, speech, convention, and all the rest. I think my dream for America is coming to be more defined as wanting to live in a country where people care for one another rather than individuals working on their own crap and letting everyone else fend for themselves. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness seems too generic when we say that everyone has equal opportunity to life as such. I don't know what the solution is, but, regardless of whether or not we actually do have equal opportunity to the top of the ladder or not, I want to believe in a world where we're here to help each other realize our dreams and I don't think assuming everyone can figure it out themselves is the best place to start. Do something nice for someone today--share a little love. Make humanity and kindness the Reality rather than the Dream.