You know how some people get all whiney and nostalgic and miss "the good old days?" Well, here's what I don't miss:

Elementary School K-6th Grade:
     Dirty. I was always getting something dirty. Be it crumbs on my shirt or falling down at recess and getting the knees of my jeans dirty. Hated it. I even got sent home once in First Grade because I fell in a puddle at recess. I lived across the street from school, but still.
     Speaking of jeans, mine never fit. I was always wearing high waters and hand me downs. Never fit.
     Stirrup pants. Did anyone else's mom make them wear stirrup pants? God those sucked. The straps were so uncomfortable on my feet.
     Milk from a carton. Sick. I don't think I need to say more.
     Never knowing who was mad at whom which time of which day.
     Getting made fun of for braces, my last name, how tall I was, how I ran, my middle name, my freckles and pretty much whatever else there was to make fun of.
     My annoying little brother tagging along everywhere I went and then crying like a fire engine when I'd beat the crap out of him.
     My mom telling everyone about how much I love Harry Potter and then having to lie about it to my friends. Like they believed me: "Pshh! No, I didn't read that! I just pretended to." Right. For hours. Multiple times each book.
     My dad's mom gave us all a series of 35 books on famous religious figures once for Christmas. That became Tanner's and my punishment when we got in trouble. We'd have to read The Life of Mother Teresa or John Wesley or Martin Luther or Gandhi and then report back on it. I'd have rather been grounded.
     Before you want to reminisce about how easy Elementary School was, remember how there were always the gross kids with perpetual snot running out of their noses or who had eye patches or whatever and how you were always secretly afraid you have to pair up with one of them or sit beside them in class. Yeah, that sucked. Don't even act like you weren't afraid of that. And if you were one of those perpetually snotty kids, I'm sorry. Life's better now, isn't it?!
     I hate the recorder.
     I thought I could be a dancer, because that's what my tall beautiful older cousins did. I was terrible. No rhythm (something that hasn't changed). And I didn't like going to class but I really loved the idea of being a dancer so I kept asking my mom to sign me up at the end of the year and then I'd cry before class started in the fall. It was a vicious cycle repeated for almost 10 years.
     I hated the days the nurse came in and checked the class for lice. I never had lice but I was so paranoid I'd get it, I'd make my mom re-check me when I got home.
     And detention. Every day of 6th grade. I had detention so often for talking that they made me my own creed to write out instead of writing the school pledge (which, to my immense pride, I still have memorized). Mostly I just got detention for talking too much, however, the most memorable time would be for skipping down the all singing "Pretty Fly for a White Guy." Because why wouldn't you?
     Oh, annnnd, I had my first real kiss on Halloween playing spin the bottle. Who wants their first kiss to be from playing spin the bottle? Lame.
     I also got in school suspension for dying my hair green. Stupid.

To the Left is a photo of me in 4th grade. I think that's a halfway 

decent photo of my grade school self. To the right is a picture of how I would pretty 

much sum up grade school Erin. Dorktastic. The hat is blue and had sparkly buttons on it. I freaking loved that hat. I won't even comment on the coat. Also, please note the permed hair. I begged for a perm. Thank God it turned green when I got in the hot tub and we had to cut it all off soon after. What was I thinking? I can't look at this photo and not laugh.

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 Middle School 7th Grade (in Norfolk, when I was in school, Grade School was K-6, Middle School was 7th grade, Junior High was 8-9 and High School was 10-12):
     I was no longer perpetually messy in Middle School. I still got made fun of for being tall, being thin, having weird names and freckles. Almost everyone had braces by this time so I was fine there.
     Instant messaging became big for me during this time. I was always on MSN waiting for cute boys to want to chat with me, but mostly I didn't have the balls to talk to anyone unless I was with a big group of girls and they were talking for me.
     I hated health class.
     I hated getting busted for passing notes.
     I hated PE when things were supposed to be a competition, but it wasn't cool to be interested in class, but I really wanted to win.
     This was also the first time we had to change clothes for PE. You got made fun of if boobs were too big or too small. You got made fun of for your underwear, you got made fun of for you body type. I survived most of my life not being made fun of by girls, but there's still that looming pressure.
     I hated how everyone talked about how you were supposed to be growing up and acting mature, but no one ever wanted to treat you like you could be mature. Maybe I couldn't be mature.
     Girls started to wear makeup in Middle School. My life would have been better if A. I'd know how to use make up and/or B. all of my makeup wasn't discards from my mom's crap.
     I fell down the stairs in the middle of the Middle School cafeteria when I was running late to PE. 18 steps, thud, thump, thud, thud, thud, all the way down on my butt.
     My brother was still an annoying piece of crap and my parents started to get on my nerves as well when I got to Middle School. Go figure, I know.

My best friend Carrie and me on the first day of Middle School. Yes, more stupid hair for Erin. 

Junior High 8-9th Grades:
       I kept the stupid hair cut from above all the way through 9th grade.
       I had my first real boyfriend in 8th grade. He cheated on me.
       My parents got divorced in 9th grade. I kind of had some issues. My 9th grade boyfriend was way older than me, constantly also cheating on me and probably will end up being on the nightly news. My best friends all started drinking, but this was when I started writing. Really writing daily--so stereotypical writer: family torn, beaten down in a terrible relationship that cannot be escaped, only solace is her writing that saves her hahaha so dramatic!
     I hate what a little piece of crap I was during 9th grade. I just thought I knew it all.
     My 8th grade science teacher totally had it out for me. He even let a kid chase me around the room with his lab table stool.
     I marvel at how I survived 7-10th grade with sports after school. I went home almost every day for lunch in Elementary School because I lived across the street. However, from 7th-10th grade I had to eat school lunch. A bagel, strawberry cream cheese and a cookie every day. That was what sustained me until I got home after practice at 6pm.
     You'd think I'd be saying I hate bagels, but really, I hate the cookies. Junior High cookies are the greatest cookie in the world and I have spent the last 6 years trying to find out where they came from and how I can make them. Can't figure it out. Damn those bomb-diggity-dog ass cookies.

I wouldn't say this is a typical picture of me in Junior High. I did not go to school
dressed like a dorky hunter, however,  we did (and I still do) love to get dressed up. Often. This picture is from the last day of 8th grade. My friends Carrie and Mo and I dressed up and were going to ambush Tanner and Tyson when they got out of the last day of Elementary School across the street from my house. As you can see Tanner in the background, you'll know that posing for this photo, we ultimately missed our target. 

High School 10-12 Grade:
     I loved High School. Once I quit being a snotty brat to my mom and grew up, I really, really loved High School. I loved every sporting event, every late night girl talk, late night streaking session and school dances. I finally had a job and could buy my own clothes. My brother was getting increasingly less douchey, I was the captain of the volleyball and soccer teams, I had awesome friends, I started hanging around boys I thought were good role models to my brother and thus they were also less douchey. Gas was, like, $2.00 a gallon so we could drive around in the country with the windows down and blare the music all night. High School was great.
     I have a hard time knocking High School, however, I'd never give up today to go back there. Yeah, today might be a little sucky. I just had hernia surgery so my belly is so swollen I look like a pregnant lady and I walk like an 90 year old man, but all in all today is a good day. It could be worse. I could have mud on my hand-me-down jeans, a perm and braces.
     On a side note, I did have a fat period in High School.

My adorable and incredibly nice and good-hearted High School boyfriend and me.