I love Modern Family and second to Amy Farrah Fowler, Phil Dunphy might be one of the greatest things to happen to my TV life. Philsosophies make me very happy. I decided while I'm not a funny as Phil, I probably have some gems to share with the world.

My philosophies:
1. Anything can be fun if you do it with the right people. Sleeping on the ground, being cold and wet and tired and hungry, watching women's basketball, going to church, going to lunch with my dad's mom--all these things can be fun if you surround yourself with the right kind of people.
2. No one can fall in love with you until you love yourself.
3. Life would sometimes be better if somethings were socially acceptable. Like running everywhere or not having to wear a bra (or pants if that's more your thing). But these, and other things, are not socially acceptable. Always be true to yourself, but know that social convention makes friends and makes others feel comfortable around you.
4. If you're a terrible dancer, learn all the words to all the songs. Singing takes the focus off dancing. If you're a bad singer too, sing loudly. The volume takes the focus off the tune.
5. Stop wasting time looking for "the perfect person." Are you prefect? Didn't think so. Go out and find the mess to match your mess and fall in love. Perfect is boring. Oddities are the spice of life.
6. If all else fails, always have candy on hand. Wear candy necklaces (church bling) to get through long services, share suckers with angry sports fans, share gum/mints/candy with anyone and everyone--best way to make friends. Don't, however, offer someone a bite of your candy necklace--social convention.
7. If what someone else is doing isn't hurting you, that person, or anyone else, just stay out of it.
8. Be the best person you can be every day. We all have less than perfect days, but don't think of them as "bad" days. If today your best is toothpaste on your shirt, a speeding ticket and a smashed lunch then let's just be thankful you remembered to brush, you have a car and know that I personally feel a smashed peanut butter and  jelly sandwich is really optimal for mashing the wonderful taste of both spreads. If that fails, just remember that crappy days are what make the good days so much better. Yin and yang, yin and yang.
9. Take pictures of things that make you laugh and refer to them when needed. And don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. Sometimes when you think you might cry, laugh instead.
10. Don't diet. Eat healthful foods you enjoy to balance out the crappy foods you enjoy. Find ways to exercise that you think are fun too. Don't do/eat things just because you think it's good for you. Do it because you actually enjoy it. Life is too short to waste time eating celery and doing kickboxing.
11. Always walk into the room like you know exactly what you're doing even if you don't. It builds confidence and if you're about to do something slightly illegal, less people will question your authority to be there.
12. Be independent but not independently alone. It's great to have your own schedule and do your thing and be able to take care of yourself but don't get so caught up in making your own way that you can't be flexible and allow others to work into your life.
13. Things don't always happen for a reason. You cannot waste your life away waiting for things to happen. You are not entitled to great things to come to you. No one is. You have to be a catalyst for things to happen. Go out of your comfort zone. 
14. Crude jokes, while most of the time inappropriate, are always funny. I don't care how stuck up you think you are, there is a book out there called Everybody Poops and that is true AND funny. 
15. I'd like to be all zen yoga master and say you only have today, but let's be real here: there's a reason life has a timeline. Learn from your past, save for your future and live today. 
16. Set your standards high and your expectations low. True for people and situations. If your standards are high you won't find yourself with loser people or in loser situations and if your expectations are low, even if the people you are with or things you're doing aren't your normal cup of tea, if you have no prior expectations of the event, your expectations won't be let down.
17. If your self esteem is low get on Facebook. Let's be honest with ourselves. We only have Facebook so that we can creep on people or get a little confidence boost knowing that we aren't as big of a train wreck as some of our "friends."
18. Don't stop believing. Whatever it is that you want to believe in to keep you going, like if you're certain your letter from Hogwarts is 13 years late, or lucky underwear, whatever gets you through, stick to it. 
19. Pandora may know what you need to hear better than any other person in your life, but remember, only real people can surprise you enough into laughing when you think you're down. Like when I was in high school and my best friend and I took her five year old nephew trick or treating and ended up being really late so we were running home ("Come on, Dade!" we yelled at him. "We've got to haul ass!") and all I could think about was how we were going to get in trouble for keeping Dade out and we weren't going to get to go to our party. Then Dade tripped. And started crying. I felt bad we made him run, really bad, but now we were going to be even more late. Then he said, "I'm so sorry. I was hauling too much ass." 
20. Never, ever, underestimate the importance of proper grammar. People judge. Don't give them reason to assume you're an idiot by making errors on resumes and other documents or talking like you were raised by ogres. Let them assume you're a genius until you prove them otherwise, like when you leave your zipper down or trip up the stairs.