I saw this on MindBodyGreen's blog and thought it was awesome:

Qualities I Want in the Person I Date, which I Will Begin Manifesting in Myself:

1. Takes excellent care of his body. (This means no drugs, addictions, or unsafe practices.)--At first I thought I wouldn't put this as number one, buuuut it probably should be. The drugs and unsafe practices part. 

2. Great relationship with family and friends. Treats all people with respect. This is what I would have put as number 1. 

3. Integrity and responsibility: they do what they say and don't blame others. They are solution-oriented instead of problem-oriented. Word. No complainers.

4. Secure in themselves. A good idea of who they are and what they want. They don't have to chase after others' attention or cheap thrills. They don't have to brag or be arrogant either. They resist the urge to make others jealous. Ditto to word. Seriously. Confidence is great, arrogance is not. 

5. Open and giving. Able to give compliments and tell people how they feel. Not self-centered. Thanks for repeating the not self-centered (ie arrogant).

6. Over their exs and can be mature enough to be alone. Mature enough to be alone says mature enough to know who he is. If you can't define yourself outside of others then you are not datable. 

7. Someone who has forgiven their past and can forgive mine. We all have skeletons in our closets.

8. Someone with passion and drive who also gets excited about my passions. Duh. 

9.  A joyful person, with a moral compass, who radiates genuine well-being and positivity. Positivity! Someone who is fun to be around and not emotionally draining (ie a fun/happiness sucker). No Debbie Downers. No liars, cheaters. 

10. Brave enough to be vulnerable. Sometimes I'm not brave enough to do this. I think with the right person I could be. 

April new things:
Week 1: I got my hair cut by someone new. Bad choice. My workout class went out for dinner after class and one of the guys' wives came. She asked me to flex for her and then told me she had a crush on me. My first girl crush haha!
Week 2: I decided to write a love letter. I am too afraid to send it. That's probably all the more reason to send it. I also finally got to enjoy the heavenly food truck of downtown Omaha! Mac and cheese a fried ball of dough, need I say more?
Week 3: I flexed my biceps for an entire soccer team of Scottish boys. That was interesting. I'm not sure how my biceps are getting me so much attention this month.
Week 4: I went to open houses so I can be a big girl and buy one...some day. I also was official cake baker this month for two birthdays. Big time. I also went out with a guy I didn't know. I met him at a bar, gave him my number and went out to lunch with him during the week. Terrifying. I've never been out with someone I didn't know from other people. I proud I tried it. That's about all I got.

We all know I love lists. There's a good chance I'm turning into Jerry Seinfeld because this is a list of things that turn me off to guys (and probably all other girls too). Additionally, it's been brought to my attention that I may hang out with douchebags.

Rules for dating girls, a short list leaving out many obvious things:
          1. Don't invite your buddies. It's enough pressure to impress you. Girls have no desire to deal with your friends until, at the earliest, the 4th date.
          2.  There's no way in hell I'm going somewhere private until probably at least the 4th date. I want to be in public where people can hear me scream. I probably don't trust you. (I assume this applies to most girls).
          3. Don't talk about ex girlfriends or girls you think are hot. Ever.
          4. Don't complain about politics, work, etc, until a girl knows you. Otherwise she'll forever assume you are a Debbie Downer.
          5. Make sure she knows it's a date. Don't be wishy-washy. I want to know I'm being dated. I have a lot of guy friends. If you don't ask, pick me up and pay (if applicable), I'm definitely going to assume it was not a date.
          6. Ask. Ask. Ask. I tell people what to do all day long. If you want to see me, impress me by making plans (plans that don't violate these rules). While most girls believe in gender equality, we still don't want to be the ones to make the moves.
         7. Don't pat a girl on the shoulder.
         8. Especially don't pat her on the shoulder if the last time you saw her you kissed her and then never talked to her again.
         9. At the end of the night don't fist bump my arm. Next time I will punch you.
        10. Don't tell a girl you guys are friends so she lets her guard down and then ask her out. That is lying and cheating and she will feel betrayed.
        11. Woo her.
        12. Know what wooing is (watch Friends).
        13. Don't chew with your mouth open.
        14. If you hate Mexican food, it's not going to work--for this girl.
        15. I can probably kick your ass. Please don't let that intimidate you.
        16. Don't insult a girl's family, friends, hometown or the way she grew up. I don't know how that guy ever thought he was going to do anything more than piss me off with this.
        17. For the love of God, if you text a girl, don't give one word answers. You contacted me. If you respond with a dead end, I'm not responding.
        18. Everything has a shelf life. Don't expect to hang around for years and not be in the friend zone. I've been told guys believe in an open door policy--that the door is always open. It isn't. Make a move.
        19. If I say it's not going to happen, it's not going to happen.
        20. I love a good dirty joke, but if you refer to my sexuality, don't expect to be called back.
        21. If you don't read, just assume I don't know how to talk to you.
        22. Zumba is a turn off.
        23. I want to get dressed up and be told I'm beautiful. All girls do.
        24. Don't act all smooth. Be yourself. Smooth is slimey.
        25. Brag about your girl. Be impressed by her. Don't hide her.
        26. Sing and dance even if you hate it. She will love you for it.
        27. Basketball shorts and a t-shirt are not proper date attire. Unless you are going to play hoops--a date I'm totally down for.
        28. Make eye contact. Flittery eyes make me nervous.
        29. Some girls need things--gifts. That's fine. I don't. I'd rather someone give me the gift of his time. Gifts make me uncomfortable. Find out what she needs and give it to her.
        30. Don't call a girl dude unless she is your dude.
        31. Don't dance around yes or no questions. Just answer them. Honestly. Unless she dances around questions--fair is fair. Dance away my friend.
        32. Don't try to date a girl who takes less time to get dressed than you do. Your high maintenance-ness will annoy the crap out of her. Always find a girl who is more high maintenance than you.
       33. Tell your baggage after a few dates. She needs to know and you'll make her feel special you let her in on your secrets.
       34. In public under no circumstances is it appropriate to only give her a head nod.
       35. Saying "I really like you. I don't want to date anyone else. I don't want you to date anyone else. I just don't want to be committed. But I can't stay away from you." Basically tells me you want to use me when you want to use me for what you want to use me for. Not happening. You're also probably too stupid to understand that previous sentence.
       36. Liquid courage is not sexy.

First and foremost, go to this link. Engagement photos that will make you happy you are single: http://www.buzzfeed.com/nataliem15/14-engagement-photos-that-will-make-you-happy-you-a0ne?sub=2138772_1060311

Now, I have so many things to say.
Number 1. The caption is funny. However, this picture really isn't that terrible. They may have gotten a decent one out of the bunch and she is just smiling funny in this one. That being said, what is up with the brown and black sweaters?
Number 2. He's about to suck her face. He's about to give her a face hickey. She's posing for the strong woman photo and he's going for the toothless vampire suck. Also, I'm pretty sure they're holding hands out spread eagle-like. Her eye contact basically challenges you to judge her. Balls.
Number 3. He's exhaling so hard after breathing in her scent that her hair is blowing back. Yes, sensual.
Number 4. This one made me laugh out loud alone in my apartment. I feel really dumb when that happens. At least I've learned now not to sit in my computer chair--fell off once and bruised my butt. Anyway back to the picture, a king and his queen. I wonder if the wedding was also royally themed. This is like a bad prom photo--because, you know, prom has a theme. I didn't know engagement pictures did. It's not even Disneyland. Maybe I could excuse it if it were Disney? No probably not.
Number 5. She looks like she's in a sappy country music video. He looks like he's doing a sit up or trying to poop. Both of them have wet pants. I don't know about you, but there are few things I dislike more than when the bottom of my pants get wet. I hope this was the last picture they took and not the first.
Number 6. Are they trying to be funny about not dumping each other or does she seem to think that if he marries her he will no longer be dumping as in dropping a duce? He's squatting in the position. If it's the latter, she's in for a rude awakening because as we know, everybody poops.
Number 7. I have no words. That man is comfortable in his sexuality: manpris AND fairy wings.
Number 8. He could have at least gotten a tan.
Number 9. When I was first scrolling down, I thought the parking meters were going to be something with her boobs the way their hands are placed. I'm not sure which would be more weird, what I thought or what is actually going on. Maybe they met at a parking meter?
Number 10. Please tell me who you are giving that engagement photo to? Your grandma to frame? The newspaper with your announcement? Are you going to display it proudly on your desk at work?
Number 11. Another fairy. I like how their individual photos are laid into the background. Classy.

This just goes to show you that there is someone out there for everyone. Don't settle for anything less than the man who will wear fairy wings with you. Unless you hate fairies--you know, do your thing. People aren't perfect but there is flawed person to perfectly match your flaws--someone's weird will match your weird. I'll be looking for the guy to dress up in his cloak and wand with me for our pictures. Look for it in 10 years.

     My dear friend Joel is leaving the gym where we have worked together and discussed all of life's big questions for the last few months together. Mostly we hash out our problems and give each other advice--probably him giving me more advice than me giving it to him. We all know I know nothing about boys and that boys are idiots. I need all the help I can get and Joel is good at that. I like to think I provide him with a least a little entertainment. This week we had some fun conversations:

Monday: Chills and Thrills--Biggest Fears.
     Joel is going camping this weekend with his girlfriend and other couple. In the Ozarks. He made a comment that he might be attacked by inbreeds (inbreds? I don't know the noun form of this word) like in the movie Wrong Turn. That is my biggest physical fear of all time. We then proceeded to discuss how creepy inbreeds could lurk out of the woods on a winding road and jump into your head lights, causing you to veer off the road and crash and then their entire inbred family will attack. Terrifying. Imagine a snaggle-toothed, hump-backed, stink-eyed inbreed with one gimpy arm staggering into your head lights on a dark road. Horrible. Biggest physical fear ever.
     We also have the same number one fear: failing. Or rather waking up one day and realizing we have regrets or didn't reach our potential. I think this is a common fear for many people. My third biggest fear is letting people know how I feel. To recap my fears: 1. Regret. 2. Inbreeds. 3. Exposure.
     Joel, however, thinks that exposure is a beautiful and exhilarating thing. He said that nothing feels better than throwing it all out into the light, waiting the breathless moment before the other party reacts and then watching how things fall from there. He's brave. I'm a weenie. However, he's probably right. Going out of your comfort zone is exciting. Scary is thrilling. That's why we like roller coasters, right?

Tuesday: Do It.
     Quit being a baby and tell people what you think. Call people out. Tell someone you have feelings for them. Live with no regrets. Light the fire and watch it burn. Okie dokie. Easier said than done.

Thursday: Big Sweeties.
     I told Joel about how I want to buy a house. A. I dislike renting when I think I want to stay here. B. I need a dog. Joel responds with: "That is very big-girl of you. But you don't need a dog. You need a boyfriend."
Me: "No, I need a dog. Someone to always be excited to see me when I get home and love me unconditionally."
Joel: "You just need a boyfriend. One who you aren't paranoid is a booty call."
Me: "I need a big sweetie dog and he will expect nothing but food and snuggles and runs. She. I'd probably have a girl dog."
 Joel: "Would it be weird if I got a girl dog?"
Me: "No, would it be weird if I got a boy dog? I could, you know, get a boy dog."
Joel: "You could."
Me: "It would be weird, though, if you dressed your girl dog in pink tutus and a spiky pink collar."

Life Lessons.

March newsies (New things and News):

Week 1:  I went to a Maroon 5 concert. Fantabulous.

Week 2: I had my first boxing lesson. We have an ex-pro boxer working at the gym and he thought it would be a good idea to teach me how to defend myself while I'm running. At first he refused to teach me how to fight. He thinks I'm too competitive to learn to fight--that I'd be busting faces to prove I could. Now he thinks that's super spunky and it'd be fun to see me fight because I'm so fast. I cannot imagine hitting a person. I'm very glad to know I can defend myself though. POP! POP!--those are my punches: left jab right cross, POP*POP*

Week 3: I had my first personal training lesson. Like I, myself, was trained by a trainer. We got a new trainer who just got his certification but doesn't have any experience training people so he's been practicing on us. It was fun.

Week 4: I kissed someone in public. He was gay. My first gay man to kiss too. He kissed me to ward off a creepy lurker. I also made multiple decisions this week without thinking too much about them. And just let stuff happened. That was nice. I usually overanalyze everything. I tend to ask, "Good idea, bad idea, no opinion?" of everyone I trust to listen. Eh, I'm probably not cured of "Good idea, bad idea, no opinion," but damn it, I'm going to try to make more decisions on my own.

Week 5: I watched my first Creighton basketball game. They lost. It was probably my fault.

I've decided there are Five Fundamental F's in my life:
1. Friends/Family--Some people have wonderfully close and supportive families, some have the same things in their group of friends. I'm incredibly lucky to have both.
2. Fiction--I love my life and the real world, but Fiction and the imagination are honestly just as important. There's no greater/worse feeling than when you finish a really really great book and you are sad you are leaving that world and the characters, your new friends, behind.
3. Fitness--kind of a big part of what I do.
4. Four-legged friends--I love dogs. I need a dog.
5. Food--I enjoy eating and I am not a food snob. I love food from fancy restaurants, I love to cook, I love the food truck. I also don't get those people who aren't dessert people. It's dessert. Sometimes it's the greatest part of my day--judge me.