I've been missing a beat in blogging. I haven't been writing, partly because I've been studying (and passing!) to become a Certified Behavior Change Specialist, mostly because it's hard for me to think of writing non-fiction. I want to hole up in a world of my own with my dog and books and the mountains. The news hurts my heart more than I ever thought possible, and I find it hard to look people in the eye sometimes. But silence is what Trump and his administration want. So I'm trying.

The day after the election I called my parents and told them that when I was kid someone touched me, kissed me, licked me all over my body when I said no. I wasn't raped. But I was violated and I hadn't told them because I never wanted them to think they'd let me down. Knowing that our country's leader has bragged about grabbing women "by the pussy" and how he'd have sex with his own daughter made me feel I had to talk--that I needed to put a face to that kind of talk. When Trump talks about grabbing some woman no one knows it's just "locker room talk", but when I say I was grabbed by the pussy, I hope at least, the people I know who voted for a rapist know that's not OK. So this is me. This is me a girl who's first knowledge of intimacy was as a child who said no, who didn't know what sex was, who was made a 1 in 4 statistic. And this is me, a woman, saying that is not OK.

My friend Elisa and I marched last month at the Omaha chapter of the Women's March on Washington. 18,000 people of all different colors, backgrounds, shapes, sizes, ages, genders--I had goosebumps, my eyes teared up. I don't think there's ever been a time in my life that I've felt so part of something so important. The next weekend my boyfriend and I went to his friends' house to write letters to our senators. We wrote on women's rights, Black Lives Matter, the immigration ban and refugees, education, alternative facts, the keystone pipeline--all of it. Using my words and my body to stand against hate helped me turn anger into physical acts I hoped could make a difference.

Betsy DeVos was voted in as secretary of education. Instead of feeling like I should give up, I watched a video of all those who spoke against her and remembered the power of words. Elizabeth Warren went straight badass today to fight against Trump's racist, Jeff Sessions. Republicans tried to silence her, but others have posted the rest of Coretta Scott King's letter. Words. A voice. I used to think I was a lover not a fighter, but I was wrong. I'm not going to run away and pretend bad things aren't happening. I'm going to stay here and fight because I love. Of course there's a perfect JK quotation for this post:

“Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Elisa and me being Nasty Women at the Women's March and Yadi as a Bad Hombre