I think there comes a point in every person’s life when she/he realizes someone he/she looked up to is a human being with flaws. While we accept things like speeding tickets or an occasional F-bomb, a poor choice or two in someone’s youth, but it can be pretty earth shattering when we realize that someone we look up to represents something we are against. As we grow up and we start to formulate our own morals and values, sometimes those new ideas can go against what our teachers, parents, grandparents, mentors, aunts, uncles have told us. And that’s OK. If we all were the same, the human race would never progress. However, you’ll probably reach a point in your life when you’ll have the choice to stand up for what you believe in or be silent. As scary and daunting as it is, I encourage you to stand up.

     I’m going to write about my dad not because I want people to think he is a crappy person, but because I believe I have a real duty to use my voice. My dad is not a crappy person, but somethign needs to be said. My dad was my hero when I was little. He carried me on his shoulders, taught me to count, shot hoops with me, took me to the farm and taught me how to drive. He gave me my first job mowing lawns, has traveled all over with me to watch me race, and he never, ever misses a chance, still to this day, to tell me he loves me and he’s proud of me.

     But my dad is racist.

     And he goes out of his way to be racist.

     My dad is from a small town. He probably has no friends of color nor does he interact with any people who are too different than him—middle class, white, Christian, male. And that’s all OK. I can forgive not understanding another culture. I can understand not believing another religion. Hell, I can understand not believing that racism exists if you live in a place where you can’t see it daily. However, his racism is not this subtle. Every day he post something on Facebook that screams with bigotry. At first I removed him from Facebook. Then there were emails. I broke down each email with care and statistics that I was sure would convince anyone that racism still exists and open his eyes to the obstacles that people face every day. Nothing. And maybe he didn’t read them. Maybe he wants to live this way. But I can’t let it go. I can’t believe that someone who has taught me how to love and loved me so much could spread that kind of hate into the world.

     I believe that we are all different so that we can learn from one another. So that we can teach each other and help each other become better. My dad taught me when I was small. I also have faith in his love for me that he’ll have my back no matter what. I have to believe with all of my heart that by saying something, maybe I can start to change his mind and he can now learn from me. I love my dad. But someday I might adopt a baby that is African-American or Latino or marry someone of a different race or religion or maybe my child will be LGBTQ (something else my dad can’t wrap his mind around). I don’t want that child to grow up in a world where her mom doesn’t stand up for her and her grandfather’s racism/bigotry is ignored. I don’t want any child to grow up in a place where people aren’t working to give them a better world.

     Love everyone. Even for their imperfections. But don’t be afraid to stand up for what is right. If you question if something is right or not, ask yourself if what is being said is spreading love or hate. Always help love win.