Tomorrow I'm going to take on the Steamboat Springs, Colorado Run Rabbit Run 50 mile run again. I did it last year, as some of you may remember. I'm going to post below what I wrote last year. After reading it, you'll probably question my sanity--not why I signed up last year, but why I would ever do it again after hitting the bottom like I did. However, going to your absolute lowest, really, truly tells you that you can do anything. I know this now. This year I feel more confident. I know what to expect and I trained better. Last year I had done a half Ironman 6 weeks before Run Rabbit and that was not enough time to get fully in the swing of 50 mile trail running. Here is the link to track me tomorrow (Saturday, September 19), if you are interested. You can search my name (Erin Gesell) or bib number 1078.

Here is what I wrote last year. I'm not reading it today. Maybe tomorrow night.

I recently did one of the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Cooler than living in Peru, cooler than getting my masters, almost as cool as getting my dog. I ran and finished a 50 mile race in Steamboat Springs Colorado. My friends Molly and Cade have done this race the last 4 years and they told me it is the greatest day of the year, yes, they assured me, even better than Thanksgiving. And they did not disappoint. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I’ve always loved racing, but in other races, everyone is concerned with their own things—watching their times and listening to their music, however, I didn’t listen to my music for 15 hours. I just hung out with the other runners. There were checkpoints about every 6 miles, so I’ll break down the race by section.

Start to Mt. Werner    So the first 6.4 miles is all uphill. You start at the base of the ski mountain and climb roughly 4,000 feet. This section took me about 1:50 which I was pleased with. I hiked with some men from Lincoln and then with a woman from CO. I was already dreading coming down this section, however. It wasn't too steep, it was just constant uphill switch backs. No flats. Period. 

Mt. Werner to Long Lake     This section is the longest section of the course. Single track through really cool forest area. This section is kind of rolling but mostly downhill. I ran almost all of this but had to stop for twigs or rocks in my shoes a couple of times. It was very pleasant. Ran with the Lincoln guys again for a while and a very cute old man. However, I knew this section would be tough going back because it was so long (6.8 miles). My body felt good, but my left arch was giving me trouble.

Long Lake to Base Camp     I feel that I spent wayyyy too long at the aid stations, especially on the way out--think, I had them refill my camelback, tailwind bottle, ate, and grabbed nutrition for the road. Even if you only take 5 minutes at each aid station, that's 40 minutes added to your time. Not smart. Any way, I met Cade at this aid station and he and I ran together until we caught up to Molly. This section was nice. Single track through meadows, some river and stream crossings that were a little muddy and could have been very wet if you fell. Since we caught up to Molly (she took an hour early start), we went at her pace--no use killing ourselves on the way out and it was more fun together. There were some very steep, muddy climbs I was worried about for the way back, but this part was fun because we were together. At Base Camp we could access our drop bags and Molly had a ball for me to roll out my left arch with and it was much better. I felt good to go.

Base Camp to Dumont      This section was tough for me. I ran most of it but was dealing with GI issues. I couldn't eat or drink anything. I pooed in the woods but it didn't help until much later. 

Dumont to Rabbit Ears to Dumont      By this time we are so high in elevation that we are above the tree line. This section was mostly desserty. It was hot. You had to trek up the Rabbit Ears (a rock formation). So steep. So, so steep. You had to touch the stupid rock. I fell after touching Rabbit Ears and slid down on my butt for a ways. There was a man who collapsed when I was coming down and they had to call an ambulance. I kicked a rock up and it bounced off one ankle scratching it, but, like, rolled across my left arch and that was horridly painful. Like so painful I almost puked. I didn't see Molly at all as I was coming back so I knew she probably had to drop. When I got back to Dumont she was there and she helped make me drink a sprite to get calories in and packed me some pretzels--the only thing I thought my body might handle. 

Dumont to Base Camp   I ran most of this, but I was alone. It was not too bad. I was feeling better.

Base Camp to Long Lake     I made a huge, huge mistake here. It was still warm out so I didn't get my jacket from my drop bag. Terrible mistake. I ran most of this ways with a guy who kept telling me I was crazy for this being my first 50 because it's the hardest he's done. At least I wasn't alone though. This section seemed very long compared to the first time I did it, probably because the first time I was with Molly and Cade. I ran most of this, hiking the uphills. I could finally eat more than pretzels when I got to Long Lake.

Long Lake to Mt. Werner     This is where things got bad. I tried to run the downhills and the flats but the back of my knees were sore making the downhills awful. This area is much more wooded and it was getting cool. My mom planned to meet me at the Mt. Werner check in and hike down the mountain with me so I just kept telling myself that I would see her soon and it would all be OK. I was alone this whole section. We had to weave from the east side of the mountain to the west side so it was starting to get dark. I was scared. Sometimes I hoped that when I got to Mt. Werner they would tell me I missed the cut off and drive me home. 

Mt. Werner to finish     The only thing that got me to Mt. Werner was knowing that my mom would be there with a jacket and flashlight. I knew we'd make it down. Then I got there and she wasn't there. I started to hyperventilate, then pulled it in and called her. She'd sent me a text that she was at the Mt. Werner check point, but when I called, she said that they wouldn't let them go all the way up to the check point so she was 2 miles down. I started to cry again and said I didn't think I could make it 2 miles. I was so cold. I hung up and realized I had no choice but to go down. She had my coat. The aid station people got me hot chocolate and I started moving. I started running down. It was 7:30. I knew I had to get to my mom before the sun went down. There were people behind me but I didn't know if they made it to the check point in time for cutoff. I saw 2 lights bobbing a switchback ahead of me so I ran to them. At first I thought I'd keep running but I was so happy to be with other people that I stopped and walked with them. I called my mom and told her I was coming and was in much better spirits. We met my mom and I got a jacket and a flashlight and told my mom I'd keep going with my buddies. We had fun talking running and dogs and Game of Thrones and decided to finish together no matter what. Because of my break down, my mom and Molly had been in constant contact. Molly hiked back up the mountain to meet me. She met us with at 2 miles to go and came back down with us. I was very happy, but so freaking incredibly tired of going downhill. It was sucky. But I wasn't alone. We jogged the last 100 yards and walked up the 5 steps to the finish line together as a team. Finishing like that was incredibly special. 

Hey, all! Another piece of adult short fiction I wrote was published last week by The Riding Light Review. Check it out here.

It's happened. I've had another birthday. When you get to be old balls, they come faster and faster. I thought I was going to write about something today, but then I saw this video on Facebook and couldn't not share it.

Check it out:
https://www.facebook.com/Plaizir/videos/954714707900386/

I think it's important to remind ourselves to simply Be. To remind ourselves that we're human beings and we can't do it all. To remind ourselves to take time to slow down and savor the moment rather than spend our moments thinking about what is next. To remind ourselves to take the time to be kind to one another. Because that, fully experiencing the moments of our lives and spending those moments with each other, that is what being alive really is. I hope when we are old we can all look back and know that we lived.

Hugs.

The last 6 weeks have been crazy for my writing!

1. My short story "Good Boy" (adult fiction) was accepted and published by The Magnolia Review (Link)

2. My flash fiction piece "Living" was accepted by Riding Light Review in just over an hour of sending it to the editor! This journal is available for purchase via Amazon and I'll send the link when it comes out.

3. For Books' Sake (literary journal) posted a call for submissions for pieces of Young Adult literature with strong female characters. In a month I wrote a spin off story of the novel I hope to write next about Branko and they accepted if for publication! I'm so incredibly excited. Young Adult is my dream genre. Link to come!!

I don't want to say I never thought I'd see my name in print on a book, however, I would have written all of my life and probably been OK never being published. Writing is my dream, my passion, my thing. I'm not the best. I'm not going to win any awards. But for real. Erin Darby Gesell is an author's name now. It's out there in the world and people are reading my thoughts and words. I guess, what I am saying is, whatever your thing is, do it for you. People will notice. It might take a long time, but if you do you, it'll never be time wasted. 

Hugs. 

Next time instead of counting sheep before you go to bed, count all the things you love about yourself:

I love my freckles, my muscles, my laugh, the color of my eyes. I love my ability to run and write and never give up when it’s hard or when I get rejected. I love my passion to fight for what is right. I love the way I use my voice for what I believe and that my strongest strength is compassion.

If that doesn’t work, count all the things you are thankful for:

Sunshine and animals. Water and trees. My family. My friends. Yadi and yoga. Running and my bike. Good food, chocolate, and cake. Pillows and my bed. Having a job I love and a place to call home. Hot showers and rainy nights. Good music, good books, and laughter.

You can probably go on forever. Eventually you’ll fall asleep and wake up more in love with yourself and more thankful for everything you have. That’s worth more than sheep. <3

My first short story was published by The Magnolia Review today! You can check it out online here. Please know that this story is for a age 15+ audience.
I'm pretty pumped. This is a big day for me! My next piece of flash fiction will be published in the upcoming weeks by Riding Light Review. Look for a link soon.

When I went to AWP (American Writers and Writing Programs’ annual conference) this spring, I met a writer from small town Nebraska writing about small town Nebraska. Her book The Sky Always Hears Me and the Hills Don’t Mind is worth a read if you’re into Young Adult literature fo sho. I’ve attached my review of it below—see if it’s something you might like! What the author, Kirstin Cronn-Mills does with her protagonist in this story is something I love. She gives her main character a thing, a quirk, a little oddity. Morgan’s quirk is that she writes fortunes and leaves them all over her house, outside at her school, at the grocery store where she works, anywhere.

Management changed this week in my job that I very much love, and I’m anxious to see what happens now—if things will go on and the job I’ve worked to build can continue or if my manager will want to bring in change. At the same time, my boyfriend’s organization is talking change as well.

I’ve kind of taken for granted that my job was a certainty. I never thought it would change before I was ready to switch careers. This week I’ve been thinking of my own fortune, words of wisdom, and this is what I’ve come up with:

While the things we feel we can count on most in life aren’t always the most exciting, rejoice in and love the things we have that are certain, because in this great life of ours, most of the world is precariously unreliable.

I wanted to just post my fortune, but I’m terribly long winded so you get all us this. And check out Kirstin’s book! Here’s my review:

Very sweet and honest. Morgan is a fantastic main character that readers can relate to. The author puts readers so close to Morgan that we feel everything with her--the confusion, embarrassment, anger, fear--this is a great feat as most of us don't know how it feels to be kissed by a girl in hick town, Nebraska. Cronn-Mills asks her readers to examine what they believe and think about how honest they really are with themselves. I truly enjoyed this book. Via: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6444812-the-sky-always-hears-me?ac=1