"I'm a real adult!" I've probably said this two dozen times in the last six months. I bought a house: I'm a real grownup now! I have only one full time job with insurance and no part time jobs: Holy cow, I'm officially a real person. I finished my Master's degree: I'm, like, a real adult. 

But I don't feel any different. Yes, I have debt for the first time. And a lawn to mow and I'm trying this whole garden thing and money comes out of my paycheck for insurance and grownup things. I have laundry and workouts and time with friends and family. But how does balancing it all now make it any difference than when I was in college or when I lived at home in high school? I still had to be a functioning human being then. 

In college I spent the first year in an intensive division of the Honors Program in which we discussed Maslow's Hierarchy of needs until I felt I could draw the ladder for you with my toes, blindfolded. 

Basically, we have certain needs that must be fulfilled before we grow toward a higher level of existence. The ultimate goal is to come to a place of self-actualization. This is a place where you are comfortable enough with your health (physiological needs), your safety (you have a home, job security, etc), your relationships, and yourself (you know your strengths) that you can lose your ego and be at peace with the world and your place in it (self-actualization).

So, take me. I have food, water. I bought a house and have job security. I have a wonderful supports system of family and friends. I have "mastered" my profession enough to have received a degree in it. But does all of this make me grown? 

Most of us will hang in that belonging or self-esteem stage. The stages where we still have ego. Where we still compare ourselves to others, judging them and ourselves. We all know people who have to be right, those who discount the beliefs of others and cannot let go of their sense of self long enough to see others from any perspective other than what they believe is right.  And, let's be honest. There are plenty of people older than me who do not have these things. Who will never make it to even Maslow's Safety. 

I may not know at what point we officially become "old." But I do think that our perspectives shift as we age. I was riding my bike home today--cruising, you know, like I'm real cool with my race bike, clips, aero bars, the whole shebang--while eating a sucker (unsafe, I know, but if I get run over, I doubt the sucker stick jabbed into my throat is the most of my worries) and there was a guy riding a low rider bike smoking. Grade school me would have said, "Oh. God. Seriously. I can't believe I have to inhale that secondhand smoke." High school me would have said, "Would you like me to help you quit smoking? Here are blah blah blah [too many facts on smoking hazards to list]." College me would have said, "Yes! You have a right to smoke! I may not partake, I actually think it's trashy, but you go do your thing and don't let anyone stop you." Twenty-something me of today thought, "Smoking while riding, that takes commitment. If he's enjoying his cigarette and ride as much as I'm enjoying this sucker and my ride then yeehaw. This must be the best version of himself." Maybe 30-something year old me will be cruising with a low rider and a cigarette in 10 years. Who knows? 

Anyway, I think that this dude may have shown me that I've matured. That I've come to release myself, slightly, from making my perspective being solely about me. Houses, degrees, jobs, perspective. Do those things make a person grown-up? Right now, who my ego is today, says no. I don't really think so. (Because I, obviously, know all the answers). Today I think the fun of it all is growing toward our places in the world and continuing to learn and change our perspectives. Today I say you can always teach an old dog new tricks. We're all human. No one is so right in their world view that they have no flaws. I guess my point is that to move forward each day is to grow and learn and become better at being you so much so that you are so good at being you that you can step outside of yourself and have compassion and understanding for everyone around you no matter how different you are. Even until you are 100 years old. 

Tomorrow however, someone could eat my lunch at work and I'll revert to cave-girl when my physiological needs aren't being met and I'll whack people over the head until I'm fed. Or maybe I'll go to yoga and in meditation I'll transcend my ego and decide the modern world is not for me and go become a hermit in the woods. Or maybe the hokey pokey really is what it's all about and I'm just full of crap.