I put my gloves on for my run this morning and while trying to zip my keys into my armband, my fingers slipped and I punched myself in the face, giving myself a fat lip. I then spent my whole 10 mile run trying to think of a cool story to accompany a fat lip that is better than hitting myself in the face. When asked what the better story was this was my response:
Idk. Punching myself in the face is kind of funny. Otherwise the story would be this: (you must first know the backstory that I find random cutlery all over the place and now have a collection) Around mile 6, I found a fork (true) and was carrying it with me to add to my collection. I was making my way around the river and ConAgra's campus because I like to pop over there every once in a while to see if I can think of anything awful I can make my bootcampers do (also true). There are always evil water fowl about (true again) and one foul fowl attacked me. Hissing and feathers flying, he came at me with his beak/bill/mouth-whatever-thing chomping at my face. I waved my fork and stabbed at the duck/goose thing but it got in one good kick to my kisser. Fat lip.