Wow! I have been on hiatus recently. So much is changing right now for my girlfriends and I here in Omaha. Both of my roommates are moving. One to a job in Kansas City and the other for grad school to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. I'm just staying here.
     I'm kind of panicking about what life will be like without them. They are my two best friends in Omaha, and I feel like I'll be a total recluse when they leave! We had our last Third Thursday Potluck dinner last night and Saturday is to be our last house party for Laura's going away party.
     I've been thinking a lot about myself and change in life. Now that college is over my friends and I are in a big transition period. Do we get real jobs or go on to grad school? Where do we want to live? Should I find new roommates or try living alone?
     I'm going to grad school, but I only have to be in Los Angeles for 10 days in June and 10 days in December so I don't really have that force to make me move. I'd love to move. I just need a reason. I've always thought that committing myself to one place to live would be awful. I would love to marry someone whose job required us to move around often so that I could explore new places and change my job as well. I figure I can pretty much find a job anywhere I go between writing and teaching fitness classes.
     However, I have this huge commitment to people. Where I loathe commitment to one place or occupation, I quickly and easily commit to and love people. I've had jobs that I hated, but had such a hard time quitting because of the relationships I had with the people who attended my classes. Sometimes I fear I'll never leave Omaha because I love my job at Pinnacle and the relationships with the people I have met there are the reason I love what I do so much. However, I also am practically refusing to find an apartment by myself because I don't want to commit myself to signing a year lease and thus promising to be in Omaha another full year.
     I had a conversation about baggage the other day and I kind of feel like I am an oddity as I have no problem committing whole heartedly to one person, but the idea of committing myself to one city or one career makes me want to vomit. Don't get me wrong, I hate packing and moving all of my crap, but holy cow, the thought of spending my entire life in the same city seems so claustrophobic. I like the idea to try something new and if it's not the place you want to be, then move on, no hard feelings. Maybe I just haven't found the right city yet. Or maybe once I find the right person and people to commit to, staying in one place won't be so hard.